America: The Country That Twerks Together Works Together (Or, How The American Revolution Was Basically A Teenage Temper Tantrum)

These days, all anybody talks about is Miley Cyrus

“She used to be so cute,” they say. “Whatever happened to the old Miley?”

The truth is, Miley grew up, like most people do. She began to think for herself and make her own choices, ultimately breaking free from the reign of her parents and facing the world on her own.

Sound familiar? That’s because some surprising parallels can be drawn between the foundation of The United States of America and the maturing of Miley Cyrus.

When it was first discovered and successfully colonized by England, France, Spain, and the Netherlands, America was the much fussed about darling of the world. It had good soil for growing, a huge amount of land, and plenty of natural resources. As time grew on and the English presence in the colonies increased, it became clear that Miley America was a huge moneymaker. It needed supplies and could only trade with Britain, giving the mother country a monopoly on all things American.

The foundation of America was built on the belief that British citizens were better than anybody else. Colonists were drawn to the colonies because they were, in effect, still British, and because of that infinitely superior to other people, such as the Native Americans, Spain, and especially France. America was an extension of its parent country, doing only what it was told to do by its British laws and officers.

That is, until it began to think for itself.

As America aged, the colonists began to realize that they were the victims of a tyrannical government, who did things without their consent and annoyed them all the time. “Mom” began telling them who to trade with and making them pay taxes without any representation in Parliament.

America, being a bratty teenager, rebelled.

Now, much like Miley Cyrus expressed her grand act of teenage rebellion in a way most young adults would not (Seriously, how many teenagers do you know who have waved their behinds in the air on national television?), America expressed its unhappiness with the way things worked in a dramatic, large-scale fashion. The colonists waged war on their mother country, growing more and more resolute as the fighting went on. Eventually, America declared itself independent and separated itself from its parent forever.

The Declaration of Independence was America’s version of twerking.

Miley Cyrus’ overly sexual dancing at the VMAs proved that she was not under the control of her parents. She would be her own person and make her own mistakes because she has the right to do that.

America’s Declaration of Independence showed that it no longer would tolerate having Britain as an ever-present mother country. The colonists were more than capable of running their own economy, making their own rules, and controlling their own legal systems.

So before you start criticizing Miley Cyrus for expressing her independence and growing up, maybe you should think about the consequences if that rebellious teenage stage didn’t exist.

Sources: Bailey, Thomas A., David M. Kennedy, and Lizabeth Cohen. The American Pageant. Eleventh ed. N.p.: n.p., n.d. Print.

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10 thoughts on “America: The Country That Twerks Together Works Together (Or, How The American Revolution Was Basically A Teenage Temper Tantrum)

    • I have to say this is a very creative article. It definitely captured my attention and it was very well written and I like how you compared it with a topic that is very popular with people today.

  1. I can honestly say I never would have thought of comparing Miley Cyrus to the American Revolution but it definitely works. I don’t think I will ever be able to think of America the same way again. Definitely unexpected.

  2. Your title really caught my eye and I’m glad it did! I really enjoyed reading this, it was funny and true. I never really thought about America being England’s “child” but it totally makes sense. Especially when you think of things like mercantilism; i.e. sending things to the “mother” country. I applaud your creativity and writing skills, this was great.

  3. This i so incredibly accurate. I love the parallels. I would also say that, a bit like Miley Cyrus, America overreacted a bit to the new taxes. For the most part, the US benefited from mercantilism. England wasn’t just sucking money out of the colonies, it was also nurturing them. I’m sure Miley Cyrus’ parents were trying to do the same.

  4. This article is absolutely perfect, you captured the true nature of America by saying we’re just like Miley Cyrus. And besides, America is loosely defined by other countries by their celebrities, right? I wonder if this pattern will continue…

  5. I think that you are brilliant for coming up with this. After reading this and thinking about it more I totally agree with you. Where would America be if it did not have its rebellious teenager stage? Where would Miley be if people were not talking about her so much? Neither America nor Miley would be as successful as they are today.

  6. I love this analogy. I imagined America as a teenager, too! When Britain raised taxes to pay for the soldiers in America, I could just imagine the colonies saying “NO! We didn’t need your stupid military anyway!” This increases the similarities between America and teenagers because they both not only need help to become INDEPENDENT adults, but they deny that they need that help. This was a really insightful post!

  7. I feel like this was perfect. Honestly, I never would have thought that Miley Cyrus could have ever been used to explain the independence of America. Basically sums up all of the major points in America’s foundation, and it’s such a creative way.

  8. I also think this article is really creative, but I don’t want to sound like a broken record and repeat what has been said before me. I think that the only thing you could have done better was use the strike-through formatting more, like you did in the 5th paragraph

    it became clear that Miley(comments don’t have formatting but the strike-through is on Miley) America was a huge moneymaker.

    However, I think the way you drew the comparisons was fine, just using strike-throughs would have made you not have to state some of the parallels explicitly.

    I also love the line

    The Declaration of Independence was America’s version of twerking.

    Great job!

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