A Fuddy-Duddy Fairytale – Passed Down from Revolutionary Times

Once upon a time, in a horrid wasteland of fire, monsters, and high taxes on molasses, there lived a dreadful Goblin king named Georg. He was the third Georg to be born to the Throne of Bones, making him the ruler of Angland, the Goblin nation within the OldLand. Upon this ghastly perch, composed of the bones of Patriots, he would terrorize the Patriot people of NewLand, who were a strong willed, self aware, and morally conscious people. For years, King Georg and his legion of like-minded goons the Par-Lay-Ments sent ferocious monsters with red scales and pointy triangular heads, called RedJackets to terrorize the Patriots into submitting their land to them. Using the RedJackets to carry out their bidding overseas, the King and the Par-Lay-Ments stole the Patriots gold, cast magical barriers to keep the Patriots from expanding into the beautiful land that they had so carefully lived on and tended to for nearly a century prior, and took over and occupied Patriots’ houses without their knowing. They were truly foul beasts with no respect for the natural rights of men. When the monsters slaughtered an innocent group of Patriots in the middle of a town square, they began to worry that the cruel King would stop at nothing to claim the land he thought he was entitled. The Patriots soon banded together, deciding that nobody would take away the freedoms they clearly deserved, and they would no longer stand for the oppression that the grotesque King carried out from his far away land. The Patriots, led by the fine Knight Washington, fought valiantly against the RedJackets. To officially show their resistance against the King, the Patriots sent their wisest and most scholarly wizards to draft an enchanted scroll, which would state that the Patriots no longer accept the tyranny of the king. The Great War raged on, with the King now employing trolls from the land of Jermuny, and the Patriots receiving aid from their elvish allies of Prance. With the new support of this strong, established OldLand nation, the Patriots were able to drive the horrid RedJackets out of their land. The grotesque King, as stubborn as he was, could not deny that he was beaten, and agreed to meet with the great wizards of NewLand to discuss their nation’s fate. A scroll was scribed declaring the eternal freedom of the Patriots from the tyranny of the wretched King, who was slowly driven insane. As for the Patriots, they were free to live as their own nation, with liberty and justice for all, happily ever after.











One thought on “A Fuddy-Duddy Fairytale – Passed Down from Revolutionary Times

  1. I love this! I think it’s cool how you made the story of America’s foundation and made it sound like a fairy tale. Also, even though it sounded like a fairy tale, I could pick out all the specific historical events and people within it. I also loved the names and titles you put in place of the real ones. They were cute, but I also knew exactly who you were talking about. Good job!

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